Why do we get stuck in life? 3 ways to get out of it

Many a times in life, we get stuck in such circumstances where we unable to think beyond our present dilemmas. These circumstances and our reactions to them determine our feelings. Have you ever found yourself lost, confused, completely stuck and drowning in mud? You want to move out of the situation but you are unable to. And then it further arise fear, anxiety and even depression.

But what if you get to know that being stuck, or the situation is not actually a problem, but the problem indeed lies in how we perceive the situation. Being stuck is a label that we often give to a feeling, and then we start believing and accept this label for a longer period of time. We encounter such moments in life when nothing works, all are plans go up in smoke; and that is where the feeling of anxiety arises and we call it being stuck.

Courtesy: AK Mishra Library

Now the question is why do we stuck

You feel stuck when your life takes entirely different path than you ever thought or planned of. You feel stuck when you fail to be at the place where you wanted to be. Now, why does it happen? Does life really want to give us some sad moments? Is life really too harsh on us? No! Relax. Surrender at the moment. Keep quiet for a while. Sometimes, some moments cannot be controlled by you, so at that moment all you can do is calm yourself, and notice what life brings to you. Being stuck is like quicksand. The more you try to get out, the deeper you sink. So stop trying to get out, just surrender!

Your mind would want to control, push and manipulate, because we human get insecure, want to be loved and remarkable; and that’s very normal, human tendency. But you can rather do better things in this situation to let the universe work for you to bring you out of the storm. Here are three things to do: 

Surrender

When you feel yourself stuck, give up and surrender yourself to the situation. Notice the feeling inside you and say it loud ‘I am stuck, and something is going wrong’. And then take a deep breath. You’ll realize that actually that’s a label you have given to the particular situation or a feeling. You are not stuck; you are actually getting ready to explore a newer path. I understand that by surrendering, the feeling of anxiety will not vanish away, but you’ll realize that you will not have that grip on you anymore that holds you back.

Surrender and be open to accept whatever comes; do this when everything actually goes out of control and you feel that now nothing can happen from you end. Enjoy being stuck; it’s a part of a learning process; just in case if you will not get anything out of the situation, you will get a learning for sure. The most interesting fact is, when you’ll start enjoying being stuck, you will not be stuck anymore; because being stuck was all in your head only.

Enjoy the moment

The first step is to surrender. So when you have surrendered, stop thinking about that area of your life too much; pay your attention to other things. Do what you love to do the most; whether it’s dancing, music, painting, hanging around, go for a movie, go for a walk or anything that gives you peace and sense of joy; may be meditation too. Remember, you are not stuck in every area of your life; it’s just a part of life in which you are stuck and that too for a small period of time that will pass on. I acknowledge, it’s not easy to stop that feeling anxious during the hours of sorrows, but maybe that’s how you’ll explore something better in you; because when your mind is at peace; it works well. Do what you can, but go easy on yourself.

Write

At times, when you feel stuck, try writing!

You don’t need a system in front of you. Just get a piece of paper and start writing. Or it’s completely your choice; write wherever you want. The motive is to throw out all nasty bits. Write down everything going on in your mind at that moment, no censoring, and no holding back.

The more you do this, the more you feel your thoughts changing and transforming. Become aware of what is going in your head, and then slowly let go, because by keeping it inside, you are only creating your own sufferings.

You need to understand, that sometimes, pushing is not required, all you need is to have faith in the universe and let the things get arranged for you; not the way you wanted, but may be the way universe wants to give to you.

Let things be; at the end, everything is going to make perfect sense!

You’re a Perfectionist, but that’s not a good news

PERFECTIONISM

noun

1.    refusal to accept any standard short of perfection.

While the idea of perfectionism might sound to come from a superior being, it has secretly become the elastic obstacle that keeps you down. Perfectionism, in its essential sense, is an unreasonable storm to get everything absolutely right. This makes it difficult, for all of us, to ultimately produce anything to start with.

Our sickness of perfectionism stretches our world of noble visions and mediocre reality, so far wide and open, that pursuing anything with a pinch of error feels like a sin. Our sense of perfectionism doesn’t just lie in our love lives, but at all our curved corners. Our problems do not ultimately arise as lie in our reckless tendencies to under-budget for the difficulties of achieving it.

The right target for our self-criticism is our premature perfectionism, which in no sense is useful to us as a species. Our accurate allowance for time and effort is dependent on a proper grasp of the inherent difficulty of any task. If we fully recognize something to be exceptionally difficult, we don’t panic with our first attempts going in vain. We also don’t mind if our first efforts are weak, or if the progress is slow. It’s difficult, but that’s something we already knew. Lofty standards only become a problem when we think that something might and should be substantially easier than it turns out to be. But, this is rarely the case. When we study our own struggles as the signs of our shortcomings rather than as an inevitable part of a long journey called success. For, success is not a destination, but a lengthy process in which you struggle, improve and conquer your shortcomings.

Perfectionism is a problem only if we’re not ready to struggle. On the contrast, the perfectionism can very well slide in, if one is willing to struggle and improve on his mistakes over an extended period. We should realise that our great ambitions and over expectations to achieve them in a very little time are the biggest curse. For say, when we imagine writing a good novel in next couple of months, or have enough bank balance to retire by the age of thirty, or have worked the problems of marriage in its entirety—we inescapably fail—fall flat on our face.

Our perfectionism starts to affect us when we ignore on how hard others had worked to become something we all can aspire to be. We ignore their sufferings before they realized their ideas of perfection.

In a better world, its society’s culture would endlessly draw attention to the first drafts and hidden labors of others and properly inform us the true horrors of getting closer to perfection—doing anything that’s worth doing. We would not then be impatient sickly perfectionists, rather we would be an exploration of excellence. The problem isn’t around aiming high and achieving perfection, but it’s that we don’t have an accurately rescuing idea of what perfection really takes, whose answer, more than often, is a lot.  

What do you think of perfectionism? Comment below.

Father’s Day Special - Why Dad's love is unique

Why Dad’s love is Different?

It’s not a secret that fathers are as important as mothers for a healthy child development, and at situations, even more.

‘Fatherhood is a unique and complex phenomenon, with a massive effect on children’s emotional and intellectual growth’ as per Psychology Today.

The reason behind the statement by Psychology Today is that the Mother’s love and Father’s love is qualitatively different. Fathers love dangerously, as their love is more expectant and instrumental. A father’s role is unique in child’s development, and regardless of the other factors, the role of a father cannot be replicated or replaced by any other entity.

There are several ways through which father’s presence makes a positive difference in a child’s life. Here are a few to mention;

Fathers parent differently

Fathers carry a unique style of communication and interaction with their children. There is a difference in the parenting of a mother and father, and this variety provides children with a broader and richer experience. Since, both, mothers and fathers have their own unique way of dealing with their adult life—the sheer experience is critical for their development. 

Fathers are playful

Fathers wrestle, teach how to throw a ball—they’re playful scary monsters who teach their small children when ‘enough is enough’ and ‘when to stop’. This is how children learn a healthy balance between aggression and timidity.

Fathers are confidence builder

Fathers teach how to ride bikes faster, encourage children to go to playgrounds, how to throw like a man; fathers push the limits of kids to show them the possibility.

This gradual push makes kids independent and confident. Markedly, this also leads to expand their experiences and considerably increase their confidence.

On this Father's Day, AK Mishra's Art of Success wishes all fathers, "Happy Father's Day"

Hey, Confused? The answer lies in your intuition, know how

Your mind will answer most of the questions if you learn to relax in peace and wait for the answers. No matter how clear we are for our goals, at some time or other, we often find ourselves stuck in situations when choosing a right path becomes the most challenging task. Most of you must have heard several times about the power of human’s brain but it depends on our ability to make efficient use of that power. Some personalities try to get into the depth of almost everything to find answers, while some just listen, get the relevant or useful material from others and move on. So it depends on person to person how one is capable of using the brain power.

Courtesy: AK Mishra Library

From both the perspectives, whether spiritual or scientific, we have the power to foresee; that often comes in the form of intuition. The way we are blessed with the mind power to think, perceive, act, and perform other activities, similarly we are also blessed with intuitive powers. Every human being has this particular ability in small or large quantity. 

We, as a kid tend to be less logical and pay more attention to our intuitions, but as we age, the habit of listening to our intuitions is slowly taken over by our logical thinking. Though yes, logical thinking is very important and cannot be neglected, we cannot ignore the fact that sometimes even our logics fail to help us take a right decision for us, and sometimes even creates more confusion. This is the time when our intuition shouts and wants us to pay attention, and this is the time when we need to be calm, slow, relax, introspect and let our consciousness speak. 

Whether you believe it or not, humans can sense or foresee the good or bad future incidents with this unique power, called intuition. Although, as I stated earlier, each one of us gifted with this power, some in small or some in large quantity. But here are few basic tips which can be followed to strengthen one’s intuitive powers.

Courtesy: AK Mishra Library

Clear the clutter of your mind – your mind works best when it is not under pressure. A peaceful mind helps unveil the true potential of human’s brain which is way beyond than what we perceive. Juggling with work pressure, personal life problems, emotional traumas and other exhaustive activities we do in a day to win the race of competitions we all are experiencing in today’s era; often land us in a whirlpool of dramatized confusion. This chaos further makes it more difficult for us to hear our inner voice. If you cannot ward off it completely, try to find peace for a while, give yourself a break! Let the cloud carrying miseries flow away slowly. Let the distractions flow out of your mind; give your mind a chance to rest. Give some peaceful time to your mind and open the doors to your intuitive powers. Pay attention to what your conscious has to say.

Meditation - Meditation is a powerful tool to develop your intuition. Meditation helps in relaxing the constant useless chatter our mind is often filled with. This helps in unlocking the intuitive powers and makes us more attentive towards our inner voice. Chanting ‘OM’ is an added advantage to meditation. Once you will learn the art of meditation, you will begin differentiating between the mental chatter and genuine divine intuition. 

Yoga -  Yoga is a wonderful art of balancing each part of your body. Yoga not only makes you externally look fit, but also helps you sculpt and tone your mind. With an undivided concentration on mind, body, and soul, one can indeed tremendously develop the power to sense and foresee things with intuitive abilities. 

Honor your intuition -  In order to give life to your intuition, one has to realize the fact that it exists. Start paying attention to the little voices and signals that originate from inside you to harp on a peaceful and satisfying life. Honoring these signs give wider wings to your intuitive abilities. 

Trust -  We humans have natural tendency to not believing in something new without having strong logic or proof behind it. The same goes with intuition. You might not want to rely on intuition to take a bigger decision for a project or to find answers to a major problem. Yet, in the event that you need great outcomes, you should confide in your inward characteristics of instinct. As you will begin contingent upon it, you will feel it as a divine blessing – an irreplaceable one. The more you trust it, the more you will follow up on it. You can utilize this novel blessing in any type of life – be it personal or professional. 

Your spirit is your closest companion. It stays with you until the end of time. Pay attention to it to get the results which are best for you. Tune into your inward voice since its whispers will take you to the way of bliss and satisfaction.

Dreams - When you sleep, you awaken your subconscious mind. A person might want to do something in reality but often find him/herself in chaos or some fears that frequently stops him from taking further steps. The person might be tangled about a situation and unable to find any answer to it. If you think about the situation while going to sleep, the intuitive powers can help you get the solutions through your dreams. When your subconscious mind is awake, which happens while you asleep; the intuitive powers awakes and get the solutions which seem difficult to get in reality. All you need to do is, write down everything that you saw in your dream and pay attention to each and everything you dreamt of. Dreams hold the key to the development of your intuition and help you find answers to even the most complicated confusions of life.

7 Ways To Get Motivated & Start Taking Charge Of Your Life

While reading this post, you must have a long to-do list that might be popping up in your mind; may be your office work, family, kids, cleaning of house, etc. Although, we perform the same tasks every day, we still care to complete our day to day tasks and sadly we put off the things that actually make us feel balanced, healthier and happier.

We often catch ourselves thinking, I’ll begin working out, will try new meal, will go out with loved ones, or I’ll begin working upon what I love the most when I’ll have more time. But, in truth, that MORE TIME never comes, because we get used to of this procrastination.

Undoubtedly, we all are extremely busy in our lives, and in this hectic schedule, beings busy has become a convenient excuse. But ask yourself; is it really impossible to take out some time to do what we have been delaying since long? You know the answer!

If you feel you are not in charge of your life; you must watch this video and actually follow these 7 steps to bring a real transformation in your life.

AK Mishra's Art of Success wishes all beautiful Mothers 'Happy Mothers Day' - Know your Parenting style based on your sun sign

On this mother’s Day, we did a deep research on zodiac signs and their characteristics. Although there is nothing right or wrong, as everyone has their own method and own parenting style, but your zodiac sign indeed makes a huge difference. And after this deep research, we can help you easily figure out your parenting style based on your zodiac sign.

Zodiac sign can reveal your strengths and weaknesses and say a lot about the way you raise your kids. On this mother’s day, we bring this post for all the mothers to help them understand their personality type and their parenting style in depth.  Though; our personal message to all the mothers; you are simply awesome in your own style!

Aries (March 21-April 19)

You want your children to know their boundaries and you make sure they grow up with appropriate behavior throughout their life. You like to set a kind of hierarchy in your family which you want your children to respect. Being a fire sign, you want respect from your children throughout your life and you know the value of your own time and you are not afraid of giving yourself a break. Undoubtedly you are full of life and would sacrifice your world for your children without a second thought.

Your weaknesses: being a fire sign, you become fiercely angry, so you should be little careful with your kids.

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The role of good or bad fatherhood in kids' life

Father figures are expected, from the very start of one’s life, to be wise and powerful. They are expected to solve our problems, to be with us when in need, accompany us to children park, tell us stories, protect us. They are judicious and kind, perhaps a little tough at times but always fair—but most importantly, we expect them to be always, on our side. 

To make fun of someone who has problems with their father, even after acknowledging their discomforting longing, is humiliating and rude. It’s completely alright for someone to desire a fatherly figure in their lives, especially, when in chaos and confusions. It’s utterly hurtful to want someone to protect us and fail at finding anyone at sight.

When does it start?

This notion of desiring a fatherly figure comes from our childhood—when we’re both young and immensely week, and need protection from everything that might hurt us. In our childhood, even a cat of a considerable size can kill us—things were mysterious when we were young, and often were outside of our control. To wish for a father in befalling situations is completely natural. The adult longing for a good father is a consequential emotion from not having a good father in the childhood. It’s a result of abandonment.

According to a study at Erikson University in 2009, a grown man evidently seems extremely impressive to a small child. For a child, a grown man knows everything; the capital of India, how to drive a bicycle, how to fight, how to catch a ball. They can lift you up with their immense power. They go to bed secretly late, and wake up earliest in the morning. They can swim and let you ride their back. Fathers, by their all difference, are beyond astonishing creature.

People with father problems, contrary to its paradox, are almost, always, the ones who didn’t have very good fathers when they were small. Maybe their fathers were incredibly strong, but at the same time cruel or maybe disinterested. Perhaps, they were busy, and weren’t around much or perhaps they left after a disturbing fight. Perhaps, they divorced their wives, or may be they died. This is what, in many surprising ways, incline us to some tricky behaviors. This lead us to develop absurd fantasies, irrelevant to our maturity level and skepticism, around the idea of male protection.

Are you battling with yourself and need some help? Contact us here.

Consequences

We, even after the years of failing and learning our lessons, all by ourselves—still remain like a young child we once were. In a way, we were not allowed to mature away from our unquenched fantasies of fathers. We still, secretly, desire someone to step in and take the role. We want someone else to make our big decisions, we want them to protect us, and be tough around us. We want them, in a certain mysterious way, to vanish our problems from our life.

No matter how independent and self-sufficient we act, at the end of the day, we want them to sort out our money problems, we expect them to get angry when anyone tries to hurt us, to be proud of us when we achieve something—to love us for who we are, and primarily, accept us. To fulfill this intrinsic desire, we look out for fathers in friendships, at work, and all the places we emotionally visit.

We all must, if our emotions allow, accept that the adulthood fantasy of fathers is not of a good father. As absurd as it may sound, a good father is the one who boldly and honestly accepts that he isn’t that powerful and cannot solve all our problems. They are conscious that they can’t magically save us from the countless dangers of this world, no matter how much they wish to. They are also honest about this, and tell us the truth as soon as we’re strong enough to face it. Out of love, they let us know that there are not perfect fathers and the best they can do is help us grow, in the best way possible.

What do we need?

We markedly don’t need just a father, we need a good father figure. Someone who could help us out of our father issues, someone who encourage us to talk, acknowledges our sufferings and fears, and deeply wants the best for us and isn’t reluctant to say so; but who at the same time, out of love, wants to help us come to terms with a messy and essentially a disappointing world. A man, who out of love, will encourage you to be independent and, specifically, not to fantasize that anyone, however outwardly imposing, can do the impossible for you. And, shamelessly deny that anyone, even for the love and hate, will always be there for you by your side.

Good fathers allow us to accept the truth that there are, in the end, no fathers; just an independent you—who eventually, by failing and learning, becomes someone else’s, good father. 

If you need some help with any ongoing issue in life, contact AK Mishra's Art of Success. Call us at -  +91 9990 107 766 

Do you think we have missed something that could help people with their father issues? Comment below and let us know.