Willpower - Overrated as ‘the key to success’

What is Willpower? How do we define it?

Willpower can be described as a strong determination that allows you to achieve something, and stay stick to the desire, no matter how difficult the path is. A strong willpower also helps us calmly deal with delays in achievements. Let’s put a good example here to explain willpower better; we, as employees or workers in an organization always get up early in the morning, regardless of how tiring the previous day was. Why? Because our willpower constantly encourages us to avoid getting late or taking a leave at office as it might have negative impact to our productivity.

In today’s era, willpower has become an essential component for success, but has it always been this way?

No. If we go back to the history, people didn’t require willpower,   they used to follow their general instincts to survive and succeed. But with the evolving time, we humans have set lot of rules and boundaries for self and for others to get things in order. Each one of us is rushing to leave behind every other person in the race of competition. And we are hardwired with the belief system that we only will achieve success if we will follow these set rules and regulations.

As per the recent study and an experiment, where students were asked to have the marshmallow right away or wait for 20 minutes and then eat to get extra reward. The study showed that the students who waited for 20 minutes to get the double reward are fared better in later life, than those who ate the marshmallow instantly.

So, it proves that yes, Willpower is important to succeed and people are emphasizing more on strengthening the willpower in today’s era.

Even most of the organizations organize special trainings for their employees to help them strengthen their willpower.

But there are few things which sometimes overpower the willpower and should not be overlooked while traversing the terrain towards your goal. Those few things are; our previous failures which often leave us in discouraged state of mind, our physical health which keeps us drained every day and does not allow us to begin the day with right motivation and courage, and our emotions; low emotions often reduce our motivation level.

Courtesy: AK Mishra Library

Something just popped up in your mind and said that yes, it happens and you have experienced it many times, right? We know it, it happens; and these reasons get overlooked until and unless we face them in our lives. Even if you have unlimited will power, it has its limits, when you face the above mentioned reasons which often holds you back to get up and continue the race. Besides will power, your mental, emotional and physical power play major role. For eg. When you resist getting into an argument which makes no sense to you, it is the emotional and mental power that helps you resist more than the will power.  When you go to the meeting and use various tactics to crack it, it is your mental power. For petty most tasks like the craving for our favourite food or a dress we wish to purchase, we have all the will but our emotional and mental power stops us for varied reasons like health or finance issues respectively. Hence, Willpower is a limited resource, and the other components of success should be at work at times when your willpower starts depleting.

Get success with limited Willpower

Now, when you are aware that willpower is a limited resource, and there are other key components to achieve success, like a plan, a systematic approach; put the plan and systematic approach first and then compliment it with Willpower. Here, with systematic approach, I am also trying to encourage you to create the right environment, right conditions, right set of mind along with right guidance and planning that assure your success. If you will successfully develop a plan, a right environment, right resources; then willpower will act as an added advantage to help you get success.

1. Get in the company of like-minded people who have are experience and who can guide you towards the path of your goal
2. Stay happy and get out of all the emotional dilemmas which may become an hindrance to your success
3. Set right resources for you, the right strategy, systematic plan to achieve your goal
4. Replace your old beliefs and old conditioning of mind – if you have failed earlier, it doesn’t mean you will fail again. Failures are just a stepping stone to success. So, let go of the regrets, rather, use the past mistakes as learning and go for it again. Success will be yours!

Remember, you are reading this article because you have an aim, you have the dream, you have the patience, you are getting right guidance, and you have the will to achieve success. All you need is to work on the above mentioned aeas now to get success in each sphere of life. Good Luck!

Attitude is the altitude of Life – Light it up

To light a candle is to enlighten the darkness. Inner fire is the most important element we human-kind possess. Just that the spark is lying deep asleep, somewhere within us. Deepawali, being the auspicious festival of lights, is the perfect time to rekindle the fire, hope and faith within us and celebrate triumph over darkness. Human life is an interesting journey through peaks and valleys. The high and lows, twists and unexpected turns will put us on tests, to pass through this beautiful journey. Individuals’ inspirations and aspirations, in such situations, help them get up and go higher. Because, how the journey ends, lies in our own hands and what matters the most is how substantial our journey progressed. Illuminated by the fire within, there is indefinite light inside us. Hope is our positive approach and apt attitude to utilise the zest of Life. Despite all the darkness, faith helps you maintain the altitude of your aspirations. This faith is like the bird that feels the light when the dawn is still dark. Keeping your beliefs firm, look for your light and let fly! Dawn is near! 

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Be willing - Socialise and maintain healthy accords. Positivity starts from living a luminous life; free of ego, hurt, despair and grievances. When troubled we often tend to not get too close to people, for, at that time we get negative and feel darkness inside us. Human relationships are strange. In reality, we all have this dark side in us that comes out only when things are not right and we can’t see the light of hope reaching out to us. Our attitude at that particular time determines how we are judged in the society and as a person. Maneuvering other people, in their time of need and odd-most situations, is another dimension, a person is judged for, their giving back approach towards life. Who wouldn’t want to stand out as an exuberant personality? 

Believe in you! And radiate your positive attitude... 

Live a life without limitations! Every time you fall down, you will learn something new. Take your notes and get ready for the next one. Don’t let your mind, sway away in the chaos and hamper the choices that you are making. Because these choices shape your future course of actions and once you’ve given up, there is no hope. You will only win if you don’t give up. Make choices, design a path for you, take wrong turns, mark the faulty ways, learn from the failures and go ahead. Just don’t stop. Don’t let anything hold you back.

Tough situations and blockades often hinder from reaching the desired destination. There are moments when we are demotivated to the chores and giving up seems to be the only viable option. But just because you can’t see it, doesn’t mean a way-out isn’t present. The light in you, will show you the way, you just have to re-kindle the spark and look out.

No goal is too big and no dream is too far- fetched

Learn & excel in the art of Life and positive approach to ‘Live’ the same. Don’t just spend the life in wait of right time to change our attitude and make things work. Get up and inspire yourself. Find your strength, stand for your purpose and encourage others to go positive and make our existence, worth it. 

Life is Unpredictable. Willing or not, we have to take what comes our way. We are all pretty bizarre. Some of us are just better at hiding it! Why hide when we can enjoy the madness. This Deepawali burst the box of ego and misunderstandings and light the ‘Diyas’ of hope and faith. Enjoy the ‘you’ in yourself and let others appreciate your uniqueness. If you can feel, you are not alone, then light it up and let it go. This Deepawali lets pledge to accept the challenges gracefully, enlighten ourselves over the darkness and take higher the spirits of life. Let’s shine and have a blast – with or without crackers!

The role of good or bad fatherhood in kids' life

Father figures are expected, from the very start of one’s life, to be wise and powerful. They are expected to solve our problems, to be with us when in need, accompany us to children park, tell us stories, protect us. They are judicious and kind, perhaps a little tough at times but always fair—but most importantly, we expect them to be always, on our side. 

To make fun of someone who has problems with their father, even after acknowledging their discomforting longing, is humiliating and rude. It’s completely alright for someone to desire a fatherly figure in their lives, especially, when in chaos and confusions. It’s utterly hurtful to want someone to protect us and fail at finding anyone at sight.

When does it start?

This notion of desiring a fatherly figure comes from our childhood—when we’re both young and immensely week, and need protection from everything that might hurt us. In our childhood, even a cat of a considerable size can kill us—things were mysterious when we were young, and often were outside of our control. To wish for a father in befalling situations is completely natural. The adult longing for a good father is a consequential emotion from not having a good father in the childhood. It’s a result of abandonment.

According to a study at Erikson University in 2009, a grown man evidently seems extremely impressive to a small child. For a child, a grown man knows everything; the capital of India, how to drive a bicycle, how to fight, how to catch a ball. They can lift you up with their immense power. They go to bed secretly late, and wake up earliest in the morning. They can swim and let you ride their back. Fathers, by their all difference, are beyond astonishing creature.

People with father problems, contrary to its paradox, are almost, always, the ones who didn’t have very good fathers when they were small. Maybe their fathers were incredibly strong, but at the same time cruel or maybe disinterested. Perhaps, they were busy, and weren’t around much or perhaps they left after a disturbing fight. Perhaps, they divorced their wives, or may be they died. This is what, in many surprising ways, incline us to some tricky behaviors. This lead us to develop absurd fantasies, irrelevant to our maturity level and skepticism, around the idea of male protection.

Are you battling with yourself and need some help? Contact us here.

Consequences

We, even after the years of failing and learning our lessons, all by ourselves—still remain like a young child we once were. In a way, we were not allowed to mature away from our unquenched fantasies of fathers. We still, secretly, desire someone to step in and take the role. We want someone else to make our big decisions, we want them to protect us, and be tough around us. We want them, in a certain mysterious way, to vanish our problems from our life.

No matter how independent and self-sufficient we act, at the end of the day, we want them to sort out our money problems, we expect them to get angry when anyone tries to hurt us, to be proud of us when we achieve something—to love us for who we are, and primarily, accept us. To fulfill this intrinsic desire, we look out for fathers in friendships, at work, and all the places we emotionally visit.

We all must, if our emotions allow, accept that the adulthood fantasy of fathers is not of a good father. As absurd as it may sound, a good father is the one who boldly and honestly accepts that he isn’t that powerful and cannot solve all our problems. They are conscious that they can’t magically save us from the countless dangers of this world, no matter how much they wish to. They are also honest about this, and tell us the truth as soon as we’re strong enough to face it. Out of love, they let us know that there are not perfect fathers and the best they can do is help us grow, in the best way possible.

What do we need?

We markedly don’t need just a father, we need a good father figure. Someone who could help us out of our father issues, someone who encourage us to talk, acknowledges our sufferings and fears, and deeply wants the best for us and isn’t reluctant to say so; but who at the same time, out of love, wants to help us come to terms with a messy and essentially a disappointing world. A man, who out of love, will encourage you to be independent and, specifically, not to fantasize that anyone, however outwardly imposing, can do the impossible for you. And, shamelessly deny that anyone, even for the love and hate, will always be there for you by your side.

Good fathers allow us to accept the truth that there are, in the end, no fathers; just an independent you—who eventually, by failing and learning, becomes someone else’s, good father. 

If you need some help with any ongoing issue in life, contact AK Mishra's Art of Success. Call us at -  +91 9990 107 766 

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How not to care what anyone thinks of you?

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One of our most prominent fears which haunt us when we socialize in this world and mingle with others—is that we may in our hearts be not interesting, rather boring. But the good news and fundamental truth too is that no one is ever truly boring. They are only in danger of coming across as such when they either fail to understand their deeper selves or don’t dare or know how to communicate with others.

There is simply no such thing as an inherently boring person or thing—is one of the great lessons of art. Many of the most satisfying artworks don’t feature rare elements, they are evidently about the ordinary, looked from a special perspective, with unusual sincerity and openness to varnished experience.

For example—look at the painting of Whistler’s Mother by James McNeill. It’s a simple depiction of artist’s mother sitting on a wooden chair against a gray wall. Outwardly the scene in the painting is utterly simple and could initially appear to be deeply unpromising material for a painting. Yet, like any great artist, McNeill knew how to interrogate his own perceptions—in a fresh, clear, underivative manner and translated them accurately into his medium—knitting a small masterpiece out of the thread of everyday life. And just as there’s no such thing as a boring everyday life, so too there could be no such thing as an innately boring person.

Humans witnessed in its essence with honesty and without artifice is always interesting.

When we call a person boring—we’re just pointing to someone who doesn’t have the courage for concentration to tell us what it’s like to be them. By contrast, we invariably prove compelling when we succeed in saying how and what we truly desire, envy, regret mourn or dream. In a simpler form if anyone recuperates the real data on what it’s like to exist is guaranteed to have material with which one can captivate others.

An interesting person isn’t always someone with whom obviously and outwardly interesting things have happened: like someone who travelled the world or met importance dignitaries, nor someone who talks about the weighty themes of culture, history or science. On the contrast, an interesting person is someone who can give us faithful accounts, drama, and strangeness of being alive.

Then, what are some of the elements that get in the way of is being as interesting as we in fact are;

Our Loss of Faith

We feel boring and exhibit the same feeling when there is a lack of faith. We often believe that it really could be feelings that would stand the best chance of interesting others. When we tell an anecdote, we majorly concentrate on giving the outward details—like about the weather, people who were involved, what time was it—rather than maintaining courage to report the layer of feelings, beneath the surface—the intricate facts which flashes the moment of guilt, the sudden sexual attraction, the humiliating sulk, that strange euphoria at the middle of the night, every small detail. We should acknowledge that our neglect is not just an oversight, but it could be a deliberate strategy to mold our ideas of dignity and normality. We lack the nerve to look more closely within.

For say, most five-years-old are far less boring than most 45-years old. What’s interesting is that kids don’t necessarily have exciting feelings, far from it, but their sheer frankness and uncensored version of their feelings are what makes their insights interesting.

Our inner-struggle to appear normal

We all feel boring not by our nature—so much as by a fateful will that begins its effect in teenage years to appear normal, even when we’re honest about our feelings. We may still prove boring because we don’t know them as well as we should, so we get stuck at the level of insisting on an emotion rather than explaining it. Any situation is extremely exciting, awful or beautiful, but not to be able to provide those around us with any of the sorts of related details and examples that would help them understand why. We can end up boring not so much because we don’t want to share our lives, as because we don’t yet know them well enough to do so.

Luckily, the gift of being interesting is not an exceptional talent. It requires only direction, honesty and focus. The person we call fascinating is someone alive to what we all deeply want from social intercourses, which is an uncensored glimpse of what the brief waking dream called life feels like.  Through the eyes of another person and reassurance, we are not entirely alone with all that feels most puzzling, strange and strong within us.