In all our lives, in a way that’s strange to us; untold, unspecified, secret, mysterious, and dark, hidden, concealed – we are angry at each other. We certainly don’t think an angry man as an optimist, but below the scrub surface – they essentially are, at the cost of being misjudged.
Let’s take an example of Sanjay – He has an8-year-old kid and he has often told his kid to not interrupt him while he is watching his cricket match. For some very good reason, he finds this prohibition annoying. After a long wait, his kid frankly decides to ask when will he be free to play with him?
Now – Sanjay is shouting – because deep inside, beneath all the anger and the disappointment from his kid and life – he’s very hopeful. The problem is, despite all the evidence Sanjay keeps encountering in his life – he devotedly has a faith in a world where his kid understands him, obeys him. The deeper problem is that all these memories of disappointments go back to his childhood – decades in past – where his hopefulness of an ideal world is still not dampened. And he shouts – screams, explode at the world around him.
The ultimate truth is that Sanjay will never be able to remove the frustrations of his life, but Sanjay could, perhaps, if he is wise – learn to change what frustration mean to him. He might learn to accept the darker side of the truth behind reality, that human life is essentially full of sadness, that existence as a human being is not entirely a happy process.
But how should Sanjay do that?
Here are 3 steps for his anger Management and for all of you who get furious at times.
1. Face the truth
It’s highly advisable to face the truth and be aware of emotions. Your emotional state in anger is a boat which is flooding with water, and if you’d not care about plugging the leak, or remove what’s making that hole – no matter what you do to hold it – your boat will eventually sink. Your negative state cannot be brought down by anyone around you – there is only one who can change it – and that is you!
2. Embrace the truth
You should embrace the feeling by internally thinking the other person in your shoes and try to figure out what is the triggering element of his emotional bombardment. At the core, most people have the expectation dilemma and do not want to disappoint one another – especially the one they truly love.
We seldom imagine what the others have done that triggered your bad side, understand what they might be going through while carrying their huge pile of emotions. You should acknowledge that’s it’s not about you – it’s about them – and their internal pain.
You always have a choice to diffuse their power by accepting them as a part of you and thank them for helping you surface deep-rooted feelings.
3. Erase the truth
After you have faced and embraced the truth and the feelings surrounding it, you can lay the rest down. You should understand – the negative reactions will lead to negative energy – and turning a blind eye towards this negativity is telling yourself that you are not worthy.
We should embrace the fact that keeping the focus on you means loving yourself and at the same time, acknowledge that no one is perfect.