Saturday, 11 February 2017

3 STEPS TO ANGER MANAGEMENT












In all our lives, in a way that’s strange to us; untold, unspecified, secret, mysterious, and dark, hidden, concealed – we are angry at each other. We certainly don’t think an angry man as an optimist, but below the scrub surface – they essentially are, at the cost of being misjudged.
Let’s take an example of Sanjay – He has an8-year-old kid and he has often told his kid to not interrupt him while he is watching his cricket match. For some very good reason, he finds this prohibition annoying. After a long wait, his kid frankly decides to ask when will he be free to play with him?
Now – Sanjay is shouting – because deep inside, beneath all the anger and the disappointment from his kid and life – he’s very hopeful. The problem is, despite all the evidence Sanjay keeps encountering in his life – he devotedly has a faith in a world where his kid understands him, obeys him. The deeper problem is that all these memories of disappointments go back to his childhood – decades in past – where his hopefulness of an ideal world is still not dampened. And he shouts – screams, explode at the world around him.
The ultimate truth is that Sanjay will never be able to remove the frustrations of his life, but Sanjay could, perhaps, if he is wise – learn to change what frustration mean to him. He might learn to accept the darker side of the truth behind reality, that human life is essentially full of sadness, that existence as a human being is not entirely a happy process.
But how should Sanjay do that?
Here are 3 steps for his anger Management and for all of you who get furious at times.

1.       Face the truth

It’s highly advisable to face the truth and be aware of emotions. Your emotional state in anger is a boat which is flooding with water, and if you’d not care about plugging the leak, or remove what’s making that hole – no matter what you do to hold it – your boat will eventually sink. Your negative state cannot be brought down by anyone around you – there is only one who can change it – and that is you!

2.      Embrace the truth

You should embrace the feeling by internally thinking the other person in your shoes and try to figure out what is the triggering element of his emotional bombardment. At the core, most people have the expectation dilemma and do not want to disappoint one another – especially the one they truly love.
We seldom imagine what the others have done that triggered your bad side, understand what they might be going through while carrying their huge pile of emotions. You should acknowledge that’s it’s not about you – it’s about them – and their internal pain.
You always have a choice to diffuse their power by accepting them as a part of you and thank them for helping you surface deep-rooted feelings.

3.       Erase the truth

After you have faced and embraced the truth and the feelings surrounding it, you can lay the rest down. You should understand – the negative reactions will lead to negative energy – and turning a blind eye towards this negativity is telling yourself that you are not worthy.
We should embrace the fact that keeping the focus on you means loving yourself and at the same time, acknowledge that no one is perfect.

There is an immense joy in understanding that everyone around you is doing their best and is on, as per their psyche, their best behavior. And most importantly, love yourself for everything you do right and wrong – because at the end – that is what makes you – YOU

Monday, 6 February 2017

Effective methods to boost your confidence

Since no human being is immune to the feelings of insecurity and self-doubt, it sometimes, become hard to overcome. Also, undoubtedly, everyone at some point or the other, struggles with issues of self-esteem. This could be situational, for example some find themselves insecure and less confident while socializing with new or unknown people, or during public speaking, but could be very confident around the people they know. Some introverted people often feel shy or less confident while partying, dancing or singing, while some may feel lesser confident trying something new at their workplace. But you can certainly give yourself a quick boost in such situations. Thus, here are some simple confidence boosting techniques to follow.



Smile More Often

Your physiology greatly influences your self-awareness and emotions. Moreover, it is a scientifically proven fact that smiling not only makes you more attractive, but also enhances your mood, lowers blood pressure, relieves stress and helps you stay positive. Hence, begin your day with a smile; look at yourself in the mirror with a smiling face and make an effort to smile more often, throughout the day, while talking to other people or greeting others.

Meditate Regularly

Pick a good Buddhist mindfulness guided meditation and try it every day for 10 minutes. It will help improve self-awareness and will drastically enhance your confidence level.

Improve Your Posture

Improve your sitting and standing posture. Research shows that those who sit straight are more likely to generate ideas and believe in their own thoughts, as compared to those who sit hunched over their desk throughout the day. Moreover, standing straight also not only makes you feel and look confident, but also significantly improves your productivity level. When you have an impending socially evaluative situation such as an interview or public speaking engagement, practice and improvise your posture a day before D-day.

Stand straight in a power pose and then after some time, observe which posture makes you feel confident and comfortable while standing straight. The power pose will help raise your level of testosterone (the hormone of dominance) and lower your stress hormone (cortisol) while also making you feel more confident.

Visualize Your Success

By visualizing your success, whether acing an interview or finishing a task or a workout, you can indeed take yourself a step ahead towards your desired success. Although many spiritual leaders have already accepted it as a well-known fact, it has also been scientifically proven that imaging an activity, stimulates the nervous system and activates several same neural pathways in the brain, as you would actually experience in an activity.

Thus, by visualizing yourself overcoming challenges, you can certainly help yourself be more confident and comfortable while dealing with the current challenges which will seem familiar.

Embrace Your Feelings of Low Self-Esteem

Once you are done with developing a habit of visualization, meditation and corrected posture, your next step should be to take the time to embrace your feeling of low self-esteem. Yes, you read it right, embrace your low self-esteem!

Moments of doubts, situations where you encounter low self-esteem, feeling of unhappiness, discontentment are pretty important and required as they are imperative poisons that compel you to eliminate what you do not like and to bring a positive change in yourself. By suppressing your negative self, you’ll end up always moving a step away from your improvement and perfection. So, begin by recognizing your insecurities and instead of improving your feelings of low self-esteem, start improvising your competence. Make yourself abler, learn what causes low self-esteem, where you lack and improve those abilities. You’ll gradually enhance your confidence levels too.

Embrace Your Failures

After learning the skills of accepting your weaknesses that cause self- doubts, re-evaluate how you consider your failures. Failures come as challenges in your life to make you what you truly are and to bring out your true potential, to make you more patient, more experienced, more mature, wiser, more humble, more resilient, more creative and more grounded. It also teaches you a lot about your true self. When you focus on learning, you gain from each of your failures, you take another step towards your desired success and failures become just a part of your journey to your phenomenal triumph.

Improve Your Surroundings

Last but not the least, to improve your confidence levels, expand your social circle. A supportive social circle will always encourage you to move forward and this encouragement truly plays a very vital role in boosting your confidence levels and for you to reach your goal. Thus, keep a distance from those who discourage you for your dreams and spend more time with the people who believe in you.

Wednesday, 1 February 2017

Understanding Love Relationships



Love is an emotion of enormous power. All long-term relationships go through a variety of phases.  If the relationship continues, it settles into a more stable time of building a history as a couple. If children or teenagers enter into the picture, that is entirely a new phase. Later, there is another phase of being together as a mature couple with the wisdom of experience.

People say Love and relationships in present age do not have that passion like old days. But were the relationships in old times really perfect? The truth is there was a perception set in everyone’s mind that relationships should last forever, at least once we're married to someone, the societal obscurity that we have to be with that person, no matter whether we are happy or not, but just because we have circumscribed with the vows of marriage. Although we are not too different from those people who lived centuries ago, our core desires are still the same. But we have become practical in our lives.Imagine being in love, maybe you have been in love or you hope to be in love. We figure out things quickly, we make quick decisions, a number of emotions rush together so quickly, but then what happens? 50% of marriages get failed? Why? Have you ever tried to discover the answer? 


Sometimes, two people come out to be completely different, maybe the female could be goal oriented but fallen in love with the guy who wants his girl or wife to not to work, or go for some other job or any other similar thought. The moment when love rules our mind, we don’t let our brain function, and we just flow with the storm of emotions. We agree to such mundane things, the kind of behavior we don't expect from ourselves. We get ready to sacrifice, sacrifice our ambitions, our dreams, our actual self, but the truth is one can never change his true personality, and hence it results in divorce, break-ups, and range of relationship problems.


We have the prefrontal cortex brain which takes rational decisions, located near the front head, is involved in decision making in response to emotions. The prefrontal cortex controls what decision a person makes when faced with an emotional reaction. The same part of the brain controls addictions and the feeling of love. But what happens our feeling of being in love gets too strong which starts controlling even our brain and mind, and we become unable to take rational decisions in love matters and accept even the wrong. And this is what happens when we realize, that the person in front of us is not the right, and we should stop here or should contemplate the situation, but suddenly the other part of the brain which is controlled by the feeling of love suddenly comes and tell the brain to knock it off, we don’t let the prefrontal cortex brain control our heart -- let alone the feeling of love.


The most important thing one needs to understand is, never fall in love, and always rise in love. Let the person accept you as you are. Love is supporting each other, fight for each other’s dreams to make them true. Remember, attachments are always against love. As long as you are attached to someone or have a fear of losing someone, you can never reach to the unconditional boundaries of love. The key to a properly functioning love and a lasting relationship is trust. It does not require rituals to follow or get circumscribed with vows of marriage or rituals which bounds you to be with the person and not to exit the doors even when two are not happy together. 


Love is about two people committing themselves to the fullest.  Often people are so lost in their search for the custom or traditional love they believe in, that they forget commitment and love are truly important to make things work. The dream of the perfection which exists in the mind of people keeps them away from the reality. One must understand the perfection comes with the true understanding of unconditional love. 


So now, do you understand love? 

Monday, 30 January 2017

5 MORNING ROUTINES TO WIN THE DAY




Tim Ferris, author of ‘the 4-hour Workweek’, has his 5 favorite morning hacks to maximize his productivity. As per Tim, positive momentum and a distraction-less start of your day don't come naturally, rather it’s manually earned every day by following a strict routine. After Interviewing hundreds of ultra-successful people, from the famous chess prodigies to athletes to billionaires – he has picked the common denominator out of all and made a list of his top 5 routines.

Out of his top five routines, he claims that even if he gets to three routines per morning – he wins. And as the famous saying goes, “if you win the morning, you win the day”.

Tim Ferris is an efficient all-rounder – he fluently speaks 5 languages, is a national Chinese kickboxing champion, holds a world record in Tango and is a best-selling author. That’s a big list for a single man – and getting demotivated from a long list of someone else’s achievement is not the point. Rather, it is a proof that the only thing that’s stopping us from succeeding in any field is our mental limitations, and Tim has a way out.

There is a lot we can learn from Tim, and his belief that single individual can achieve greatness, and with a right set of mind – can reach the pinnacle of his field. So, let’s get started.

Top 5 Morning routines

5. Make your bed


It might sound like an unimportant ritual, but it gives one a sense of control at the very beginning of the day. It’s a form of strategy that helps you to deal the intangibles and curveballs that life throws at you. No matter how complex your day is planned ahead – you can always make your bed and straighten at least one thing.

4. Meditate


He states, ‘more than 80% of the world class performers I’ve interviewed practice one form or the other of mindfulness’. As per Tim, there are few who go to Headspace, few who opt for guided meditation, and others who stick to traditional meditation techniques.   

3. Do Pushups


Tim says, doing any kind of physical exercise first thing in the morning helps you to stay prime, and wake your complete body at a go. He prefers to do the pushups, but he recommends any kind of exercise – sit-ups, lunges, and squats. Doing so quiets ones’ mental chatter and effects the mood dramatically.  

2.  Hydrate yourself


You need to water yourself and take out the dryness of the entire last night. He recommends titanium tea which is one teaspoon of turmeric, some ginger shaving and a teaspoon each of black tea and dragon tea. He recommends it for excellent cognition and weight loss. He personally prefers it with a glass of cold water, but even warm water would do the same trick.   

1. Write a Journal


The most important trick in his list is to write a journal for whatever is going in your head. You can plan your day or prioritize things or just express gratitude for the various labels in your life. When Tim writes his journal, he broadly considers four categories; opportunity for the day, some small goals, yesterday’s achievements and relationships.  

Friday, 27 January 2017

Ways to shift your state of mind and become more confident in minutes



At some point or another, we all must have struggled with our self-esteem. Since none of us are immune to this feeling of insecurity and self-doubts, it becomes even harder to overcome. This could be situational, for eg. Some people find themselves insecure and less confident while socializing with new or unknown people, or at public speaking, but could be very confident around the people they know. Some introverted people often feel shy or less confident partying, dancing, singing; while some may feel lesser confident trying something new at the workplace. But we can certainly give ourselves a quick boost in such situations by following such simple confidence boosting techniques.

1.    Smile

Undoubtedly our physiology greatly influences our self-awareness and emotions. Moreover, it has scientifically proven fact that smile not only makes us more attractive but also enhance our mood, lowers blood pressure, relieves stress and helps us stay positive. Hence, begin your day with a smile, look at yourself in the mirror with a smiling face and make an effort to smile more often throughout the day; while talking to other people or greeting others. It will make you feel and look good and confident.

2.    Meditation

Find out a good Buddhist mindfulness guided meditation and try every day for 10 minutes. One can also use most simple and effective meditation technique; sitting straight with eyes closed chanting OM. This also helps you improve your self-awareness and drastically enhance your confidence level. 

3.    Improve your posture

Your body posture makes a lot of difference. So most importantly, improve you sitting and standing posture. Research shows those who sit straight are more likely to generate ideas, believe in their own thoughts as compared to those who sit hunched over the desk throughout the day. Moreover, standing straight also not only makes you feel and look confident but significantly improve your productivity level. While encountering yourself in a socially evaluative situation such as an interview or public speaking engagement, practice a day before to improvise your posture; stand straight in a power pose. And then after some time, look into your comfort level, in which posture you feel confident and comfortable while standing straight. The power pose will help raise your level of testosterone (the hormone of dominance) and lower your stress hormone (Cortisol) while making you feel more confident and bringing out your true self.

4.    Visualization

Visualization is undoubtedly an amazing tool universe has endowed to each one of us to bring our desires into an existence. By visualizing your success, whether acing an interview or finishing a task or a workout, you can indeed take yourself a step ahead towards your desired success. Although many spiritual leaders have already accepted it as a well-known fact, it has also scientifically proven that imaging an activity stimulates our nervous system and activates several same neural pathways in our brain as we actually experiencing the activity. By visualizing yourself overcoming the challenges, you can certainly help yourself be more confident, comfortable while dealing with the current challenges which seem more familiar.

5.    Embrace your feeling of Low Self-Esteem

Once you are done with developing a habit of visualization and meditation and correct posture, your next step is taking some time to embrace your feeling of low self-esteem. Yes, you read it right, EMBRACE YOUR LOW SELF-ESTEEM. Moments of doubts, situations where you encounter low self-esteem, feeling of unhappiness, discontentment are pretty important and required. They are imperative poisons that compel you to eliminate what you do not like and to bring a positive change in yourself. By suppressing your negative self, you’ll end up always moving a step away from your improvement and perfection. Begin recognizing your insecurities, and rather than improving your feeling of low self-esteem, start improvising your competence. Make yourself abler, learn what cause you low self-esteem, where are your lacking and improve those abilities; and you’ll gradually enhance your confidence level too.

6.    Embrace your failures

After learning the skills of accepting your weaknesses that cause self-doubts, reevaluate how you consider your failures. Failure is inescapable for each one of us. The one who tries will always fail too. In fact, our advancement in life depends upon our failures. Failures come as a challenges in your life to make you what you truly are; to bring out your true potential, to make you more patient, more experienced, more mature, wiser, more humble, more resilient, more creative, more grounded, and teaches you a lot about your true self, which your success can never  teach. When you focus on learnings you gain from your each failure, you take a step ahead towards your desired success and failures become just a part of your journey to your phenomenal triumph.

6.    Improve your surroundings


Lastly, to improve your confidence level, improve the context for it. Simply put, improve your social circle. A supportive social circle will always encourage you to move forward, and that encouragement truly plays a very vital role in boosting your confidence level and reaching your goal. Keep a distance with the people who discourage you for your dreams and spend more time with the people who believe in you.

Monday, 23 January 2017

Are you jealous of other’s success?

How do you feel when your best friend bags a promotion, or for that matter, if he gets into a happy relationship? Don’t you often brush off these type of news with a shallow statement – perhaps saying – ‘it’s never going to last’.

We all acknowledge that jealousy at its core is a form of protective shield. It exists to give us a defense mechanism against all types of the successes of other people – that might, in various cases, demoralize us. We often mourn to our peer’s victory, often refuse them with a superficial tag, protecting our ego, screaming;’ I am a much better person than everyone else’. We don’t necessarily put that out loud – but most of us religiously believe in that statement.  We believe that our adversity is this temporary phase which will vanish as soon we want them to vanish. We all with our inner beings agree – that we’re and everything about us – is in control.

According to one study – it’s hard not to hate people around us – especially people that we grew up with; our friends, siblings, co-workers, spouse – merely to be just okay with this socially ranking based society. Certainly, this comparison trap swallows us – changes our perception and judgments. While jealousy is a natural response to so many adversities of life – it’s not necessarily beneficial and healthy.



Don’t mix exteriors to interiors
In this social networking world, it’s easier than ever before to fall for complaints. In our terrible lives, we often complain about how other’s success looks completely unachievable. We always try to believe we’re fixed beings and there are differences that we often get confused about – but the evident truth is we’re a constantly changing species and we evolve every day with our every new experience.

We often ignore people’s journey to their success and regard it as pure dumb luck, effortless or unearned. We often fall prey to over-simplification and reactive thinking, for a simple reason because it’s easier to pass comments than to ask tougher questions to ourselves; How does their success relate to my own values?, or What do I admire about their story?, or What have they done to get that? When we introspect and try to answer these questions – we reflect, and immediately come out of the comparing trap and turn inwards to face our own desires and fears.

It’s not a secret that envy and admiration are the reactions to what we value the most. If we somehow align ourselves with what we value – we’re much inclined to a richly satisfying life. We should use other’s success as a mirror to our life – and that’s a critical key to most of our life’s hardships.

How to minimize your jealousy?

Avoid comparisons
Acknowledge that everyone around you is on a different track of life and all of them have their own set of weaknesses and strengths. We should also accept that these things that limit us don’t completely define us. 

Accept
We should all admit jealousy as our natural reaction to other’s success. We should be completely honest and put aside our bruised ego whenever we face things we wish we could do. And most importantly, we should accept ourselves completely to recognize our true potential and uniqueness we are endowed with.

Reframe Jealousy into Inspiration
The same emotion that fuels jealousy can be used for motivations and inspirations to accomplish something for you. Instead of downplaying other successes, you should ask yourself if you aren’t capable of what someone else has done already. You should think, more usual than often – If they can do – I can do it too.

Compliment
Make it a habit of complimenting people on their achievements. Celebrate all the success stories and rather to resent on what did not work for you – celebrate the possibility of it. It’s a lot lesser stressful and at the same time – healthier.

Reflect on your jealousy pattern
Learn how to figure out a pattern of the areas around which you find your jealousy, and those would be the valuable signs of your life to show where in life you need to put more focus in. 

Do you think your jealousy is holding you back from tapping your full potential? Comment below to let us know about your concerns and we’d help you to handle it progressively.


Friday, 20 January 2017

Is your Job fulfilling and meaningful?

The idea that the work should be fulfilling rather than its obvious nature of necessity for survival is quite a new concept. The first requirement of any job is to pay -- and then the secondary requirements, as important as money but less recognized – like it should have a meaning, should help other people, should make a change in the society. But how many people can actually raise and say that they have these attributes?

If we dwell ourselves into the dictionaries of past – say pre-1900, the word ‘fulfillment’ doesn’t even appear. In this modern world, we don’t just expect money from our labor but, we also— to our lesser or greater extent expect meaning and satisfaction. It’s evidently too much to ask and gives us a clear reason why there are so many people having a career crisis.

 What does it mean to have a fulfilling or meaningful job?

Seemingly, to feel a job is fulfilling and meaningful, a job should have following attributes in it;

1.    It should tap the most talented part of us.
2.    It should help other people.
3.    It impacts the society and makes a difference.
4.   It should make a great contribution towards fulfilling the organizational goal
Often on the Sunday night after the sun is set – we think about where our job is taking us – if it’s giving us any value and meaning at all. And it’s surprising to acknowledge that you’re not alone – almost all of us have that anxiety.


It’s perfectly normal to be confused about your career choice
Before the industrial revolution – there were about 200 trades out there, which over time have stretched to half of a million. The result, we get so anxious to make a right choice – we don’t make any choice at all.

Knowing yourself helps
For knowing what to do with your life is a complicated calling and almost all of us are never confident even if we think we know what it is. It’s not to say that we don’t have a taste rather it’s the lack of clarity.

Thinking a lot clears the dust
If you think making a decision to buy a new house takes months of research – then picking a right career is indeed a result of a long-term thinking. We shouldn’t feel guilty about taking time – but seeing the long term result – to spend a life doing something worth and provide it time with generosity.

Try something new
I wouldn’t recommend you to sit on a bed and contemplate your inner-self to find the right choice. Rather the recommended process is to go out and collide with the society and find out a series of things that doesn’t match with you. Only through that - a continuous friction, you’ll be able to find a right choice.

Be confident
Our immediate world is surrounded by the self-help books that help us understand the importance of confidence. There are too many pieces of advice which after a sincere moment looks so mundane. But, the truth is – confident does make a difference in the real capitalist society and there are always opportunities to grab if you’re confident enough to ask for them.

Why is it so hard to find a fulfilling and meaningful job?
We all feel that our work is a big scam that does give us money but at the same time, takes all our precious time. While there are many factors we can blame that doesn’t let us reach our ultimate goals – there are three factors that stand out.

1.    No one tells us our authentic working identity
Through our universities and society – we’re prepared for any job rather than a particular type, the one that suits your talent and interests. We’re often our best at work when we deeply believe in the work that we do.


2.    Working for something that actually makes a difference
In today’s modern world – it’s very easy to pack a product in a shiny wrap that at the end of the day adds no value to a customer's life. You might already be working for such a brand for money – but at the end – it’s really hard to derive any meaning out of these jobs.

3.    Tangible results
You might be working on something huge and it might feel like – if things go the way they’re going – it might change the world entirely by 2025. Looking at the timeline – it might get stressful, full of hopelessness accompanied with doubts and this happens essentially because there are no real immediate results, nothing tangible and that can sadly take out the core meaning out of your whole picture.

We live in a society where working in a bigger organization is appreciated, but often, it loses meaning because of the above reasons.  We often move out to work in smaller organizations with much real by-product and that often is enough to give us meaning.

What can you do to make job fulfilling and meaningful?

Fulfillment is felt when you establish the love for what you do, and you establish that love when you keep yourself distraction, stress and most importantly monotony free. Simply put, to actually feel that connection and bring love for your work, you ought to try something new every day.  Try to learn something new, see beyond the projects you’ve been doing since long, and try to find out something new; maybe new ideas that can make an organization grow. Try something that taps your innermost talent, and if you cannot really add that in your job, try to do that in your spare time; may be at office itself or at home, but do something what you love; because this actually brings contentment and increase your productive thinking capacity which can help you add more value to your organization with your work.