How do you feel when your best friend bags a promotion, or for that matter, if he gets into a happy relationship? Don’t you often brush off these type of news with a shallow statement – perhaps saying – ‘it’s never going to last’.
We all acknowledge that jealousy at its core is a form of protective shield. It exists to give us a defense mechanism against all types of the successes of other people – that might, in various cases, demoralize us. We often mourn to our peer’s victory, often refuse them with a superficial tag, protecting our ego, screaming;’ I am a much better person than everyone else’. We don’t necessarily put that out loud – but most of us religiously believe in that statement. We believe that our adversity is this temporary phase which will vanish as soon we want them to vanish. We all with our inner beings agree – that we’re and everything about us – is in control.
According to one study – it’s hard not to hate people around us – especially people that we grew up with; our friends, siblings, co-workers, spouse – merely to be just okay with this socially ranking based society. Certainly, this comparison trap swallows us – changes our perception and judgments. While jealousy is a natural response to so many adversities of life – it’s not necessarily beneficial and healthy.
Don’t mix exteriors to interiors
In this social networking world, it’s easier than ever before to fall for complaints. In our terrible lives, we often complain about how other’s success looks completely unachievable. We always try to believe we’re fixed beings and there are differences that we often get confused about – but the evident truth is we’re a constantly changing species and we evolve every day with our every new experience.
We often ignore people’s journey to their success and regard it as pure dumb luck, effortless or unearned. We often fall prey to over-simplification and reactive thinking, for a simple reason because it’s easier to pass comments than to ask tougher questions to ourselves; How does their success relate to my own values?, or What do I admire about their story?, or What have they done to get that? When we introspect and try to answer these questions – we reflect, and immediately come out of the comparing trap and turn inwards to face our own desires and fears.
It’s not a secret that envy and admiration are the reactions to what we value the most. If we somehow align ourselves with what we value – we’re much inclined to a richly satisfying life. We should use other’s success as a mirror to our life – and that’s a critical key to most of our life’s hardships.
How to minimize your jealousy?
Avoid comparisons
Acknowledge that everyone around you is on a different track of life and all of them have their own set of weaknesses and strengths. We should also accept that these things that limit us don’t completely define us.
Accept
We should all admit jealousy as our natural reaction to other’s success. We should be completely honest and put aside our bruised ego whenever we face things we wish we could do. And most importantly, we should accept ourselves completely to recognize our true potential and uniqueness we are endowed with.
Reframe Jealousy into Inspiration
The same emotion that fuels jealousy can be used for motivations and inspirations to accomplish something for you. Instead of downplaying other successes, you should ask yourself if you aren’t capable of what someone else has done already. You should think, more usual than often – If they can do – I can do it too.
Compliment
Make it a habit of complimenting people on their achievements. Celebrate all the success stories and rather to resent on what did not work for you – celebrate the possibility of it. It’s a lot lesser stressful and at the same time – healthier.
Reflect on your jealousy pattern
Learn how to figure out a pattern of the areas around which you find your jealousy, and those would be the valuable signs of your life to show where in life you need to put more focus in.
Do you think your jealousy is holding you back from tapping your full potential? Comment below to let us know about your concerns and we’d help you to handle it progressively.
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