How to Properly Complain without Offending Everyone?

If we look the internal structure of a complaint—you wouldn’t be surprised that it’s of the same pattern as a debate. It should go without saying that a debate must be attempted with an appropriate preparation—especially If you’d want to win it—so should a complaint.

Living in a capitalist society that constitutes people of varying mindsets and people who are driven by different motives—it’s inevitable that someone in our vicinity will hurt us in some way or the other. Markedly, it could be anyone; a colleague, a child, a friend or out of all, most likely—your partner.

People around us are often neglectful of something that matters excessively to us. With our definition, people surrounding us are mostly; thoughtless, brusk, offensive or unkind. We don’t often recognize our reactions to the maltreatment people throw at us. We might not agree but our reactions go right from our hearts and clearly depicts who we are. Our reactions can make a substantial difference between a life of a persistent bitterness, constant frustrations and our tolerable peaceful coexistence with so-called our ruthless society.  

An important section that contributes immensely to the art of living is sanely handling those who do us wrong and complain constructively. There are largely 3 main paths which one might opt to complain others;

1.       Shouting Panda

Here we shout, insult, belittle, explode to our extremes to crush our opponents. However, the thing that we often neglect is what lies behind these responses. It’s agitation and broadly a catastrophic feeling of betrayal and hurt. This unsettles us so much and hurts our dignity to such an extent that we find ourselves roaring our way to humiliation. But, at the same time—we also must acknowledge that Shouting Panda guarantees to prevent our complaint from ever being heard, let alone be resolved.

In our way to complain with all our rantings, we often end up offending who have offended us, which entirely dooms our original complaint against them. Here, we achieve nothing!

2.       Holding Panda

Here the victim says very little but hates very quietly and deeply. Here, one doesn’t complain directly from their disparity of ever being understood. This panda is often fueled with self-loathing and feels like he doesn’t deserve to be heard. It gets trapped in primitive self-hatred—resulting in an intense cynicism and melancholy and withdraws himself from the scene itself.

We often learn this technique of complaining in our childhood when we learn to swallow our pain and push it inside us. It often leaked with veiled aggression against those who have done us wrong.

Here too, we achieve nothing!

3.       Adult Panda

Here Panda is mature and knows what he wants to communicate. In order to master such a behavior, we should fundamentally work with a background sense that we don’t deserve meanness and also, that meanness won’t on its own ever be able to disturb us.

We mustn’t put ourselves in a complete chaos, just because someone has said something mean to us—by an insult.

Here are few things Adult Panda can teach us;

·         We should take the meanness from the world in a calm and strategic manner.

·         We must be careful to not belittle our opponents or insult.

·         We must concentrate on how we feel rather than pointing fingers at our opponents.

·         Replace – ‘You’re selfish and evil for doing this to me’ by saying – ‘I feel hurt’.

Even after all the precautions and advice from Adult Panda, we shouldn’t extend our faith to everyone that they would always understand our complaint and accept what we’re trying to convey. But, we voice our complaints anyway, because we know it’s not good to swallow our complaints. And, no one gets benefited from our silence in a long run.

By sketching an appropriate style of complaining, we can fill in our words with reasons and reflections and we can take our hesitant self on the path of Mature complaining—one step at a time.

Happy Complaining!

If you think there is a better way to express a complaint, do let us know in our comment section. We might include it in our article and help several people to improve their complaining.

Also, Check our courses by Success Guru AK Mishra and explore infinite possibilities to improve your lifestyle; Click Here  

EQUANIMOUS – What does it mean and Why it’s important?

Being successful is not a goal—it’s an everyday journey. It is said that your degree of success in life directly depends on how you use your mind and body. There are essential qualities that one should cultivate towards their body and mind. There are proper well-defined steps to be successful in the world. The two fundamental qualities are that; you must be able to harness the prowess of human mind and the human body.

Harness the Mind

To harness the human mind—the one quality that you must possess is to be Equanimous.

EQUANIMOUS

Adjective

1.       In full control of your faculties

Equanimous gives you access to different dimensions of your mind. If there is no equanimity, in a skewed sense of mind, your ability to use your mind is substantially reduced. Another major dimension is on the level of your energy, both physiologically and internally—one must be exuberant. It’s only when one energizes the exuberance within himself, he is able to have an ability to find a solution for the various complications of life.

Success will come to you much more easily, but beyond this, to be successful—one needs insight, inspiration and integrity.

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Insight: With this, you pay attention to your life around you in such a way that you get to see something that most of the people avoid in day-to-day life.

Inspiration: With this, one must be constantly inspired. It’s is important to understand why you’re doing—what you’re doing.  To look at the larger dimension of your actions and figure out the contribution that you make through your simple acts or whatever you are doing for that matter. You must acknowledge that every action that you take in your life is a contribution to some dimension in this world.  Someone or other gets affected by your actions—so the key is to be conscious of your actions and how it affects your surroundings, and that will provide us with a constant inspiration.

Integrity: Integrity is a crucial part of your success because your actions that you carry in this world exhibits an aura of trustiness around you—that you generate on the daily business. How many people you effect on the daily basis determines your daily efforts. The amount of trustiness will directly impact and enhance, simply because people pave the way for trustworthy people, rather than creating impediments.

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Believe something amazing is going to happen, and it will—because magic happens to only those who believe in it. 
AK Mishra's Art of Success invites all the believers to join Life Lovers Club and take a leap forward. 
Get aboard! We look forward to seeing you. 

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International Day of Happiness – Do you really celebrate the Happiness?

Do you think we all should get a holiday to celebrate the day of happiness; Or should we celebrate the happiness at workplace; as our work is something which truly brings inner satisfaction, agree or not? 

Courtesy: AK Mishra Library

International Day of Happiness is observed every year on 20^th March to recognize the relevance of wellbeing and happiness. The day was founded by United Nations (UN) through adopting UN Resolution 66/281 in order to achieve two goals: 1 is to establish a set of principles for addressing the complex, interrelated challenges faced by humankind in the ultimate quest to achieve happiness and 2nd is to promote, reserve and celebrate the principles outlined in UN Resolutions 65/309 and 66/281; that happiness is a universal human right and goal.

The way we celebrate Valentine’s Day to recall the importance of love and true relationships in our lives, the day sometimes serves to remind us how much we love our partners and how much we are adored in return. similarly, the International Day of happiness must be celebrated with equal enthusiasm to recognize the significance of happiness in our lives.

What is the biggest source of happiness in your life? Relationships? Work? Innermost passion or a desire? Whatever it is, celebrate it today! If its work; if you are doing the job you always wanted; celebrate it today. If you are married to a person you always wanted to marry with, celebrate it! If you still managed to keep your passion alive while struggling with every day hectic schedule; celebrate it today! Life gives us a lot every day to celebrate; it’s we who often forget to notice as we are so busy in paying attention to the things we do not have in life.

This is the idea behind the international Day of Happiness; a great day to shift our focus on Happiness; especially when the world is too busy in paying attention to the negativities or the wrong things happening in people’s personal lives; today, think about the positive things you have in your life.

When we have beautiful relationships, we often desire to have more materialistic satisfaction, and the people who are financially strong, often miss the beautiful relations in life; this is because we do not acknowledge the things we have and end up rushing behind other things in life.

Therefore, not today; just for the sake of celebration, but every day, acknowledge the things you have; feel the happiness that can be brought to you by small moments, some people or few achievements in life. The relationships, the wonderful caring mother, a supportive father, crazy siblings, friends, a great career, celebrate even the struggle; because that really brings out your true personality; celebrate each and every moment; celebrate this happiness you have in life. Wish you all a very Happy International Day of Happiness

If you think you are going nowhere in life, hold on. Read this!

In today’s era of hectic schedules and fast-paced world, we all are in hurry to win the race. The race to complete the tasks, the race to get most effective and productive at the workplace, the race to prove yourself the best, but while running in this race, we often encounter a question in mind; where are we exactly heading towards? Are we going in the right direction? We often get disappointed when things don’t occur the way we expected. We are running in the race with a constant fear of left behind.

This is an era when 15 years old kids are developing codes, making websites and changing the overall definition of success. Some people at the age of 25 are running their own organizations or have become accomplished artists and traveling the world.

If at the age of 30, you are still drudging in 9 to 6 job, these questions must be popping up in your mind; what am I doing? Where have I reached? Am I even closer to this race? Is this what I wanted in my life?

Most of your friends are working in big MNCs with high profiles, updating their pictures on social networking sites, most of your friends are getting married and posting pictures of their honeymoon to Switzerland or some other exotic locations, which you cannot even think in the next 2 to 3 years.

Relax! Take a deep breath. Stop comparing yourself with others. Everyone is living their part; everyone is struggling with their problems and weaknesses; all you can see is what others actually choose to show you. The world is full of different kind of people; some get successful early in life; while some do wonders at the later part of life. Some get married at 25, while some get the love of their life at the age of 40. Some drop out the college and become an entrepreneur at the age of 35; while some after completing their MBA wait for 5 years to secure a good job.

Henry Ford designed his revolutionary Model T car at the age of 45, you never know what you’ll be doing at this age; may be something better than this. Always remember this wonderful fact; “You are uniquely, lovingly positioned on this earth by masters craftsman, don’t compare yourself to others.

There is a right time for everything to happen, and everyone is working on the basis of their Time Zone. You friends, your colleagues, your cousins, your siblings; some might seem going ahead of you while some may seem behind you. But all are working their own race, on their own lane in their own time. There is a different master plan for all created by the almighty. Let this plan work out the way it is, and stop comparing your plan and time with others. Everything happens for a reason. Where Obama took retirement at the age of 55, trump took the ownership at 70; they are in their own time zone and you are in yours.

Happiness cannot be achieved by achieving success at young age, or getting married or travelling the world; the true happiness is achieved when you start considering yourself unique, when you know your worth which cannot be compared with any other person in the world; when you feel satisfied with what you have and work to achieve what you desire without cribbing anymore by looking at others’ success, when you consider others’ success as an inspiration for you and when you begin competing not with others but with your own self.

Maybe the job you have lost wasn’t right for you; as you are meant to hone your skills for something great, maybe the person you are not with anymore wasn’t right for you; maybe you are meant for someone else; we get the things which are truly meant for us when we learn to accept, let go and open ourselves to receive.

When things are not going the way they should be; do not get disheartened; spend that time in polishing your personality, learning new skills and creating a better “you” for the future. You never know, you might be doing something really worthwhile in few years and you are busy today in cribbing, feeling bad and drowning your woes in alcohol. Just imagine the regret! Are you really that worthless? The answer is NO!. you can do wonders, it’s just you have to make yourself ready for the time when you’ll do wonders, so learn from your today’s mistakes, make yourself better and get ready for the future achievements.

International Women's Day 2017: Be Bold to bring a positive change

The International women’s Day is celebrated every year on 8^th March all over the world. The day is celebrated to acknowledge and give honor to all the women for their selfless love, determination and for being a beautiful essence of our lives.

Courtesy: AK Mishra Library

A woman has incredible power to create, transform and nurture. A woman is the personification of affection, love, care, sacrifice and has beautiful skills to nurture life.

Her ability to beautifully nurture life makes a woman the strongest and powerful being. She can play diverse roles with serenity, be it a supporting wife, a lovely daughter, caring mothers or an affectionate and friendly sister.

A woman has her own uniqueness and is nowhere less than any other man in the world. Gender is a western concept. India is said to be the original home of Mother Goddess. From Sita in Ramayan to Rani Jhansi to Kannagi in Silapathikaran are not only celebrated women but have also immensely contributed to social change and awareness.

India is fortunate to have had several great women – Annie Besant, who was the first president of Indian National Congress, Vijayalakshani Pandit, first Indian Woman President of UN General Assembly, Sarojini Naidu, Mother Teresa, Indira Gandhi, who was the 2^nd woman Prime Minister in the world, Pratibha Patil, first women president of India, Kalpana Chawla, and many more Indian women in corporate sector who have proved to be more than a match. Their wonderful contribution to society in whole is priceless.  While acknowledging wonderful woman of the world, how can we miss to recall the incredible strength of Neerja, a 23-year-old flight attendant who lost her life while saving hundreds of lives in an airplane hijack.

Women should be respected and have complete rights in the society to live the life of their choice, to wear the clothes of their choice.  The people who look at them with bad intentions got to change their perceptions and mindsets. All the men and women must take a stand to stop all kinds of violence against women. Let's bring a positive change in the society and make this beautiful world the safest place for all the women to live the life of their choice. 

On this wonderful Day, AK Mishra’s Art of Success wishes all the woman of the world a Very Happy Women’s Day! And to all the men of the world, you guys are incredible too who work harder to fulfill all the wishes of your wife, to make your mother’s dreams come true, to let your sisters never face any hard times, and to give all love and affection to your daughters. 

We have the power to create change and make the world a better place as women; no matter how these bunch of criminals try to keep them under fear. Women and men must stand together against rape, domestic violence, slavery etc. It is up to all of us to remember and act because the worst crime would be to forget. 

How not to care what anyone thinks of you?

Courtesy: AK Mishra Library

One of our most prominent fears which haunt us when we socialize in this world and mingle with others—is that we may in our hearts be not interesting, rather boring. But the good news and fundamental truth too is that no one is ever truly boring. They are only in danger of coming across as such when they either fail to understand their deeper selves or don’t dare or know how to communicate with others.

There is simply no such thing as an inherently boring person or thing—is one of the great lessons of art. Many of the most satisfying artworks don’t feature rare elements, they are evidently about the ordinary, looked from a special perspective, with unusual sincerity and openness to varnished experience.

For example—look at the painting of Whistler’s Mother by James McNeill. It’s a simple depiction of artist’s mother sitting on a wooden chair against a gray wall. Outwardly the scene in the painting is utterly simple and could initially appear to be deeply unpromising material for a painting. Yet, like any great artist, McNeill knew how to interrogate his own perceptions—in a fresh, clear, underivative manner and translated them accurately into his medium—knitting a small masterpiece out of the thread of everyday life. And just as there’s no such thing as a boring everyday life, so too there could be no such thing as an innately boring person.

Humans witnessed in its essence with honesty and without artifice is always interesting.

When we call a person boring—we’re just pointing to someone who doesn’t have the courage for concentration to tell us what it’s like to be them. By contrast, we invariably prove compelling when we succeed in saying how and what we truly desire, envy, regret mourn or dream. In a simpler form if anyone recuperates the real data on what it’s like to exist is guaranteed to have material with which one can captivate others.

An interesting person isn’t always someone with whom obviously and outwardly interesting things have happened: like someone who travelled the world or met importance dignitaries, nor someone who talks about the weighty themes of culture, history or science. On the contrast, an interesting person is someone who can give us faithful accounts, drama, and strangeness of being alive.

Then, what are some of the elements that get in the way of is being as interesting as we in fact are;

Our Loss of Faith

We feel boring and exhibit the same feeling when there is a lack of faith. We often believe that it really could be feelings that would stand the best chance of interesting others. When we tell an anecdote, we majorly concentrate on giving the outward details—like about the weather, people who were involved, what time was it—rather than maintaining courage to report the layer of feelings, beneath the surface—the intricate facts which flashes the moment of guilt, the sudden sexual attraction, the humiliating sulk, that strange euphoria at the middle of the night, every small detail. We should acknowledge that our neglect is not just an oversight, but it could be a deliberate strategy to mold our ideas of dignity and normality. We lack the nerve to look more closely within.

For say, most five-years-old are far less boring than most 45-years old. What’s interesting is that kids don’t necessarily have exciting feelings, far from it, but their sheer frankness and uncensored version of their feelings are what makes their insights interesting.

Our inner-struggle to appear normal

We all feel boring not by our nature—so much as by a fateful will that begins its effect in teenage years to appear normal, even when we’re honest about our feelings. We may still prove boring because we don’t know them as well as we should, so we get stuck at the level of insisting on an emotion rather than explaining it. Any situation is extremely exciting, awful or beautiful, but not to be able to provide those around us with any of the sorts of related details and examples that would help them understand why. We can end up boring not so much because we don’t want to share our lives, as because we don’t yet know them well enough to do so.

Luckily, the gift of being interesting is not an exceptional talent. It requires only direction, honesty and focus. The person we call fascinating is someone alive to what we all deeply want from social intercourses, which is an uncensored glimpse of what the brief waking dream called life feels like.  Through the eyes of another person and reassurance, we are not entirely alone with all that feels most puzzling, strange and strong within us.