Willpower - Overrated as ‘the key to success’

What is Willpower? How do we define it?

Willpower can be described as a strong determination that allows you to achieve something, and stay stick to the desire, no matter how difficult the path is. A strong willpower also helps us calmly deal with delays in achievements. Let’s put a good example here to explain willpower better; we, as employees or workers in an organization always get up early in the morning, regardless of how tiring the previous day was. Why? Because our willpower constantly encourages us to avoid getting late or taking a leave at office as it might have negative impact to our productivity.

In today’s era, willpower has become an essential component for success, but has it always been this way?

No. If we go back to the history, people didn’t require willpower,   they used to follow their general instincts to survive and succeed. But with the evolving time, we humans have set lot of rules and boundaries for self and for others to get things in order. Each one of us is rushing to leave behind every other person in the race of competition. And we are hardwired with the belief system that we only will achieve success if we will follow these set rules and regulations.

As per the recent study and an experiment, where students were asked to have the marshmallow right away or wait for 20 minutes and then eat to get extra reward. The study showed that the students who waited for 20 minutes to get the double reward are fared better in later life, than those who ate the marshmallow instantly.

So, it proves that yes, Willpower is important to succeed and people are emphasizing more on strengthening the willpower in today’s era.

Even most of the organizations organize special trainings for their employees to help them strengthen their willpower.

But there are few things which sometimes overpower the willpower and should not be overlooked while traversing the terrain towards your goal. Those few things are; our previous failures which often leave us in discouraged state of mind, our physical health which keeps us drained every day and does not allow us to begin the day with right motivation and courage, and our emotions; low emotions often reduce our motivation level.

Courtesy: AK Mishra Library

Something just popped up in your mind and said that yes, it happens and you have experienced it many times, right? We know it, it happens; and these reasons get overlooked until and unless we face them in our lives. Even if you have unlimited will power, it has its limits, when you face the above mentioned reasons which often holds you back to get up and continue the race. Besides will power, your mental, emotional and physical power play major role. For eg. When you resist getting into an argument which makes no sense to you, it is the emotional and mental power that helps you resist more than the will power.  When you go to the meeting and use various tactics to crack it, it is your mental power. For petty most tasks like the craving for our favourite food or a dress we wish to purchase, we have all the will but our emotional and mental power stops us for varied reasons like health or finance issues respectively. Hence, Willpower is a limited resource, and the other components of success should be at work at times when your willpower starts depleting.

Get success with limited Willpower

Now, when you are aware that willpower is a limited resource, and there are other key components to achieve success, like a plan, a systematic approach; put the plan and systematic approach first and then compliment it with Willpower. Here, with systematic approach, I am also trying to encourage you to create the right environment, right conditions, right set of mind along with right guidance and planning that assure your success. If you will successfully develop a plan, a right environment, right resources; then willpower will act as an added advantage to help you get success.

1. Get in the company of like-minded people who have are experience and who can guide you towards the path of your goal
2. Stay happy and get out of all the emotional dilemmas which may become an hindrance to your success
3. Set right resources for you, the right strategy, systematic plan to achieve your goal
4. Replace your old beliefs and old conditioning of mind – if you have failed earlier, it doesn’t mean you will fail again. Failures are just a stepping stone to success. So, let go of the regrets, rather, use the past mistakes as learning and go for it again. Success will be yours!

Remember, you are reading this article because you have an aim, you have the dream, you have the patience, you are getting right guidance, and you have the will to achieve success. All you need is to work on the above mentioned aeas now to get success in each sphere of life. Good Luck!

Attitude is the altitude of Life – Light it up

To light a candle is to enlighten the darkness. Inner fire is the most important element we human-kind possess. Just that the spark is lying deep asleep, somewhere within us. Deepawali, being the auspicious festival of lights, is the perfect time to rekindle the fire, hope and faith within us and celebrate triumph over darkness. Human life is an interesting journey through peaks and valleys. The high and lows, twists and unexpected turns will put us on tests, to pass through this beautiful journey. Individuals’ inspirations and aspirations, in such situations, help them get up and go higher. Because, how the journey ends, lies in our own hands and what matters the most is how substantial our journey progressed. Illuminated by the fire within, there is indefinite light inside us. Hope is our positive approach and apt attitude to utilise the zest of Life. Despite all the darkness, faith helps you maintain the altitude of your aspirations. This faith is like the bird that feels the light when the dawn is still dark. Keeping your beliefs firm, look for your light and let fly! Dawn is near! 

Courtesy: AK Mishra Library

Be willing - Socialise and maintain healthy accords. Positivity starts from living a luminous life; free of ego, hurt, despair and grievances. When troubled we often tend to not get too close to people, for, at that time we get negative and feel darkness inside us. Human relationships are strange. In reality, we all have this dark side in us that comes out only when things are not right and we can’t see the light of hope reaching out to us. Our attitude at that particular time determines how we are judged in the society and as a person. Maneuvering other people, in their time of need and odd-most situations, is another dimension, a person is judged for, their giving back approach towards life. Who wouldn’t want to stand out as an exuberant personality? 

Believe in you! And radiate your positive attitude... 

Live a life without limitations! Every time you fall down, you will learn something new. Take your notes and get ready for the next one. Don’t let your mind, sway away in the chaos and hamper the choices that you are making. Because these choices shape your future course of actions and once you’ve given up, there is no hope. You will only win if you don’t give up. Make choices, design a path for you, take wrong turns, mark the faulty ways, learn from the failures and go ahead. Just don’t stop. Don’t let anything hold you back.

Tough situations and blockades often hinder from reaching the desired destination. There are moments when we are demotivated to the chores and giving up seems to be the only viable option. But just because you can’t see it, doesn’t mean a way-out isn’t present. The light in you, will show you the way, you just have to re-kindle the spark and look out.

No goal is too big and no dream is too far- fetched

Learn & excel in the art of Life and positive approach to ‘Live’ the same. Don’t just spend the life in wait of right time to change our attitude and make things work. Get up and inspire yourself. Find your strength, stand for your purpose and encourage others to go positive and make our existence, worth it. 

Life is Unpredictable. Willing or not, we have to take what comes our way. We are all pretty bizarre. Some of us are just better at hiding it! Why hide when we can enjoy the madness. This Deepawali burst the box of ego and misunderstandings and light the ‘Diyas’ of hope and faith. Enjoy the ‘you’ in yourself and let others appreciate your uniqueness. If you can feel, you are not alone, then light it up and let it go. This Deepawali lets pledge to accept the challenges gracefully, enlighten ourselves over the darkness and take higher the spirits of life. Let’s shine and have a blast – with or without crackers!

Diwali: A festival that dispels our inner darkness and rekindles our hopes

"Diwali" originated from a Sanskrit word (Deepawali) which means “a row of lights. The festival unites all the religions together and signifies the triumph of light over darkness in all religions. The festival even marks the beginning of a new year for most of the Hindus. The festival historically symbolizes the triumph of Good over evil where all the people coming from different religions has some history behind which ultimately gives us one common lesson, that “Evil can never stand in front of good for long and has to end after a level

Thus, people celebrate this victory by lighting Diya, lamps, feast with friends and families, etc. Goddess Lakshmi is another universal factor which binds the people of all religions globally, hence people keeps their homes clean and decorated with lights, brighten lamps to welcome Goddess Lakshmi in their home and for happiness and prosperity. Goddess Lakshmi, who is known as the goddess of wealth is worshiped on this day where people ask her for assistance In harvesting and expanding spiritual abundance, such as emotions of forgiveness, compassion for others, kindness, love, etc.

Diwali is also a time when we attempt to relight the lamps of true wisdom in our hearts and mind, which help us disperse the forces of darkness and negative emotions within us and allow our inner goodness and brilliance shine forth. 

Diwali is a not only an occasion to celebrate with lights and love, but also an opportunity to keep awakening the inner beauty while evaluating your negative emotion and eliminate them to let the inner light rejoice within and begin the internal  transformation for a better soul and a better life. Moreover, it is an occasion to discover and rekindle the sense of love, respect, kindness, skillfulness towards others and shine our beautiful light out into the world.

Most importantly, just like the flame of lamps which points upward always, Diwali is a time to let the worries of last year flow out and appreciate the things you have while setting a goal for coming year with a renewed spirit and passion. On this context, it reminds the words of Mahatma Gandhi, Diwali is an opportunity and a reminder to “be the change you want to see in the world”.

On this auspicious occasion, AK Mishra’s Art of Success wishes everyone a very Happy and prosperous Diwali and a very all the best to shine out loud your inner light into the world with great passion and renewed sense of spirit.

Why do we get stuck in life? 3 ways to get out of it

Many a times in life, we get stuck in such circumstances where we unable to think beyond our present dilemmas. These circumstances and our reactions to them determine our feelings. Have you ever found yourself lost, confused, completely stuck and drowning in mud? You want to move out of the situation but you are unable to. And then it further arise fear, anxiety and even depression.

But what if you get to know that being stuck, or the situation is not actually a problem, but the problem indeed lies in how we perceive the situation. Being stuck is a label that we often give to a feeling, and then we start believing and accept this label for a longer period of time. We encounter such moments in life when nothing works, all are plans go up in smoke; and that is where the feeling of anxiety arises and we call it being stuck.

Courtesy: AK Mishra Library

Now the question is why do we stuck

You feel stuck when your life takes entirely different path than you ever thought or planned of. You feel stuck when you fail to be at the place where you wanted to be. Now, why does it happen? Does life really want to give us some sad moments? Is life really too harsh on us? No! Relax. Surrender at the moment. Keep quiet for a while. Sometimes, some moments cannot be controlled by you, so at that moment all you can do is calm yourself, and notice what life brings to you. Being stuck is like quicksand. The more you try to get out, the deeper you sink. So stop trying to get out, just surrender!

Your mind would want to control, push and manipulate, because we human get insecure, want to be loved and remarkable; and that’s very normal, human tendency. But you can rather do better things in this situation to let the universe work for you to bring you out of the storm. Here are three things to do: 

Surrender

When you feel yourself stuck, give up and surrender yourself to the situation. Notice the feeling inside you and say it loud ‘I am stuck, and something is going wrong’. And then take a deep breath. You’ll realize that actually that’s a label you have given to the particular situation or a feeling. You are not stuck; you are actually getting ready to explore a newer path. I understand that by surrendering, the feeling of anxiety will not vanish away, but you’ll realize that you will not have that grip on you anymore that holds you back.

Surrender and be open to accept whatever comes; do this when everything actually goes out of control and you feel that now nothing can happen from you end. Enjoy being stuck; it’s a part of a learning process; just in case if you will not get anything out of the situation, you will get a learning for sure. The most interesting fact is, when you’ll start enjoying being stuck, you will not be stuck anymore; because being stuck was all in your head only.

Enjoy the moment

The first step is to surrender. So when you have surrendered, stop thinking about that area of your life too much; pay your attention to other things. Do what you love to do the most; whether it’s dancing, music, painting, hanging around, go for a movie, go for a walk or anything that gives you peace and sense of joy; may be meditation too. Remember, you are not stuck in every area of your life; it’s just a part of life in which you are stuck and that too for a small period of time that will pass on. I acknowledge, it’s not easy to stop that feeling anxious during the hours of sorrows, but maybe that’s how you’ll explore something better in you; because when your mind is at peace; it works well. Do what you can, but go easy on yourself.

Write

At times, when you feel stuck, try writing!

You don’t need a system in front of you. Just get a piece of paper and start writing. Or it’s completely your choice; write wherever you want. The motive is to throw out all nasty bits. Write down everything going on in your mind at that moment, no censoring, and no holding back.

The more you do this, the more you feel your thoughts changing and transforming. Become aware of what is going in your head, and then slowly let go, because by keeping it inside, you are only creating your own sufferings.

You need to understand, that sometimes, pushing is not required, all you need is to have faith in the universe and let the things get arranged for you; not the way you wanted, but may be the way universe wants to give to you.

Let things be; at the end, everything is going to make perfect sense!

You’re a Perfectionist, but that’s not a good news

PERFECTIONISM

noun

1.    refusal to accept any standard short of perfection.

While the idea of perfectionism might sound to come from a superior being, it has secretly become the elastic obstacle that keeps you down. Perfectionism, in its essential sense, is an unreasonable storm to get everything absolutely right. This makes it difficult, for all of us, to ultimately produce anything to start with.

Our sickness of perfectionism stretches our world of noble visions and mediocre reality, so far wide and open, that pursuing anything with a pinch of error feels like a sin. Our sense of perfectionism doesn’t just lie in our love lives, but at all our curved corners. Our problems do not ultimately arise as lie in our reckless tendencies to under-budget for the difficulties of achieving it.

The right target for our self-criticism is our premature perfectionism, which in no sense is useful to us as a species. Our accurate allowance for time and effort is dependent on a proper grasp of the inherent difficulty of any task. If we fully recognize something to be exceptionally difficult, we don’t panic with our first attempts going in vain. We also don’t mind if our first efforts are weak, or if the progress is slow. It’s difficult, but that’s something we already knew. Lofty standards only become a problem when we think that something might and should be substantially easier than it turns out to be. But, this is rarely the case. When we study our own struggles as the signs of our shortcomings rather than as an inevitable part of a long journey called success. For, success is not a destination, but a lengthy process in which you struggle, improve and conquer your shortcomings.

Perfectionism is a problem only if we’re not ready to struggle. On the contrast, the perfectionism can very well slide in, if one is willing to struggle and improve on his mistakes over an extended period. We should realise that our great ambitions and over expectations to achieve them in a very little time are the biggest curse. For say, when we imagine writing a good novel in next couple of months, or have enough bank balance to retire by the age of thirty, or have worked the problems of marriage in its entirety—we inescapably fail—fall flat on our face.

Our perfectionism starts to affect us when we ignore on how hard others had worked to become something we all can aspire to be. We ignore their sufferings before they realized their ideas of perfection.

In a better world, its society’s culture would endlessly draw attention to the first drafts and hidden labors of others and properly inform us the true horrors of getting closer to perfection—doing anything that’s worth doing. We would not then be impatient sickly perfectionists, rather we would be an exploration of excellence. The problem isn’t around aiming high and achieving perfection, but it’s that we don’t have an accurately rescuing idea of what perfection really takes, whose answer, more than often, is a lot.  

What do you think of perfectionism? Comment below.

Father’s Day Special - Why Dad's love is unique

Why Dad’s love is Different?

It’s not a secret that fathers are as important as mothers for a healthy child development, and at situations, even more.

‘Fatherhood is a unique and complex phenomenon, with a massive effect on children’s emotional and intellectual growth’ as per Psychology Today.

The reason behind the statement by Psychology Today is that the Mother’s love and Father’s love is qualitatively different. Fathers love dangerously, as their love is more expectant and instrumental. A father’s role is unique in child’s development, and regardless of the other factors, the role of a father cannot be replicated or replaced by any other entity.

There are several ways through which father’s presence makes a positive difference in a child’s life. Here are a few to mention;

Fathers parent differently

Fathers carry a unique style of communication and interaction with their children. There is a difference in the parenting of a mother and father, and this variety provides children with a broader and richer experience. Since, both, mothers and fathers have their own unique way of dealing with their adult life—the sheer experience is critical for their development. 

Fathers are playful

Fathers wrestle, teach how to throw a ball—they’re playful scary monsters who teach their small children when ‘enough is enough’ and ‘when to stop’. This is how children learn a healthy balance between aggression and timidity.

Fathers are confidence builder

Fathers teach how to ride bikes faster, encourage children to go to playgrounds, how to throw like a man; fathers push the limits of kids to show them the possibility.

This gradual push makes kids independent and confident. Markedly, this also leads to expand their experiences and considerably increase their confidence.

On this Father's Day, AK Mishra's Art of Success wishes all fathers, "Happy Father's Day"

Hey, Confused? The answer lies in your intuition, know how

Your mind will answer most of the questions if you learn to relax in peace and wait for the answers. No matter how clear we are for our goals, at some time or other, we often find ourselves stuck in situations when choosing a right path becomes the most challenging task. Most of you must have heard several times about the power of human’s brain but it depends on our ability to make efficient use of that power. Some personalities try to get into the depth of almost everything to find answers, while some just listen, get the relevant or useful material from others and move on. So it depends on person to person how one is capable of using the brain power.

Courtesy: AK Mishra Library

From both the perspectives, whether spiritual or scientific, we have the power to foresee; that often comes in the form of intuition. The way we are blessed with the mind power to think, perceive, act, and perform other activities, similarly we are also blessed with intuitive powers. Every human being has this particular ability in small or large quantity. 

We, as a kid tend to be less logical and pay more attention to our intuitions, but as we age, the habit of listening to our intuitions is slowly taken over by our logical thinking. Though yes, logical thinking is very important and cannot be neglected, we cannot ignore the fact that sometimes even our logics fail to help us take a right decision for us, and sometimes even creates more confusion. This is the time when our intuition shouts and wants us to pay attention, and this is the time when we need to be calm, slow, relax, introspect and let our consciousness speak. 

Whether you believe it or not, humans can sense or foresee the good or bad future incidents with this unique power, called intuition. Although, as I stated earlier, each one of us gifted with this power, some in small or some in large quantity. But here are few basic tips which can be followed to strengthen one’s intuitive powers.

Courtesy: AK Mishra Library

Clear the clutter of your mind – your mind works best when it is not under pressure. A peaceful mind helps unveil the true potential of human’s brain which is way beyond than what we perceive. Juggling with work pressure, personal life problems, emotional traumas and other exhaustive activities we do in a day to win the race of competitions we all are experiencing in today’s era; often land us in a whirlpool of dramatized confusion. This chaos further makes it more difficult for us to hear our inner voice. If you cannot ward off it completely, try to find peace for a while, give yourself a break! Let the cloud carrying miseries flow away slowly. Let the distractions flow out of your mind; give your mind a chance to rest. Give some peaceful time to your mind and open the doors to your intuitive powers. Pay attention to what your conscious has to say.

Meditation - Meditation is a powerful tool to develop your intuition. Meditation helps in relaxing the constant useless chatter our mind is often filled with. This helps in unlocking the intuitive powers and makes us more attentive towards our inner voice. Chanting ‘OM’ is an added advantage to meditation. Once you will learn the art of meditation, you will begin differentiating between the mental chatter and genuine divine intuition. 

Yoga -  Yoga is a wonderful art of balancing each part of your body. Yoga not only makes you externally look fit, but also helps you sculpt and tone your mind. With an undivided concentration on mind, body, and soul, one can indeed tremendously develop the power to sense and foresee things with intuitive abilities. 

Honor your intuition -  In order to give life to your intuition, one has to realize the fact that it exists. Start paying attention to the little voices and signals that originate from inside you to harp on a peaceful and satisfying life. Honoring these signs give wider wings to your intuitive abilities. 

Trust -  We humans have natural tendency to not believing in something new without having strong logic or proof behind it. The same goes with intuition. You might not want to rely on intuition to take a bigger decision for a project or to find answers to a major problem. Yet, in the event that you need great outcomes, you should confide in your inward characteristics of instinct. As you will begin contingent upon it, you will feel it as a divine blessing – an irreplaceable one. The more you trust it, the more you will follow up on it. You can utilize this novel blessing in any type of life – be it personal or professional. 

Your spirit is your closest companion. It stays with you until the end of time. Pay attention to it to get the results which are best for you. Tune into your inward voice since its whispers will take you to the way of bliss and satisfaction.

Dreams - When you sleep, you awaken your subconscious mind. A person might want to do something in reality but often find him/herself in chaos or some fears that frequently stops him from taking further steps. The person might be tangled about a situation and unable to find any answer to it. If you think about the situation while going to sleep, the intuitive powers can help you get the solutions through your dreams. When your subconscious mind is awake, which happens while you asleep; the intuitive powers awakes and get the solutions which seem difficult to get in reality. All you need to do is, write down everything that you saw in your dream and pay attention to each and everything you dreamt of. Dreams hold the key to the development of your intuition and help you find answers to even the most complicated confusions of life.